“Hey, somebody has to win. It might as well be you.”
The clerk laughed in reply to my greeting. “I’m giving you one more chance to sell me the winning ticket!”
We chatted about would put me in the “winners’ circle”. Would it be fate? Would it be the swirling winds of the universe? Would it be God?
As I am a Believer, I would go with the last option. Of course it might not be at the contrivance of God, but by His-Her-or-Its (however you perceive the Deity) allowance. And that opens a whole new line of thought.
By the way, I use the masculine pronoun for the Deity because that is what I am comfortable with. When you read “He” think whatever you chose. I refuse to argue over the gender of a bodyless being.
Back to the discussion of fortune at the contrivance or the allowance of the Deity. I have been taught since birth that the Deity is a personal deity. He is an all-powerful, all-knowing deity that knows and thinks and plans for ME. Like a mother or father knowing what I need to grow healthy, thinking about what foods are beneficial to me and so plans and prepares meals that are balanced and nutritious for me. As a kid I always wanted candy bars but my loving, caring parents contrived to provide other food. Those same loving parents may have allowed me to have a candy bar now and again. But was the real love shown with the candy bars or the balanced meals?
As I said, I have been taught since birth that I the Deity loved me personally and wanted only what was good for me. I was also taught that I wasn’t so special or unique: He personally loved every person who ever had been on Earth, was on Earth now, and would be on Earth in the future and wanted only what was good for each of these many, many, many people.
How can all that good-for-everyone be arranged? It’s like a chess game with a million levels and billions of pieces where no pieces are sacrificed and there is never a checkmate. Sometimes it makes me tired trying to think of it all.
So far in this lottery journey, I have not had the BIG WIN. Does that mean the Deity has contrived for me to be a loser? That can’t be, because being a loser is thought of as bad. Can losing every be a good thing? A blessing?
Actually – yes. A dear relative ran for a seat of the City Council. He didn’t win. He was the loser. We were sad and disappointed. Just a few months later he was diagnosed with cancer. If he had been on the Council, he would have had to divert much time and energy away from focusing on his health. Because he was not on the Council, he did not have that distraction. Losing was winning.
Now, in no uncertain terms, him getting cancer can never be thought of as a good thing. His was Agent Orange induced cancer. It was not a good thing contrived by the Deity. It was an evil thing contrived by men.
Which leads me to those things allowed by the Deity. If it happens that had what I perceive as a good thing comes to me, but I don’t know what to do with it, is it a good thing? If the good thing leads to trouble shouldn’t the Deity have stopped it?
One day when I was about ten years old I spent a whole week’s allowance on junk food and ate it all at once. I remember it included grape soda, hostess cupcakes, donuts and a whole bunch of other sweet stuff. My mom allowed me to do that. I was sick, sick, sick. I haven’t drank a grape soda since that day. Did my mom have my best interest at heart? Shouldn’t she have stopped me from enjoying those good things that weren’t good things? Maybe. Maybe not. I learned not to be stupid about junk food.
On the other hand, my parents never never never – I repeat – never let us go to a friend’s house if they had not met and approved of the parents or adults in charge. It didn’t matter how nice the friend was. It could be very irritating, if not embarrassing, but they didn’t budge. They gave no apology for doing what they could to keep us out of harm’s way.
Divine contrivance. Divine allowance. Good things that could be bad. Bad things that could be good.
As I said, sometimes it makes me tired to think about it.
Or maybe it’s like a friend told me – I think too much.