Lotteryist Week 33

For one reason or another it has been a few weeks since I last visited my PLC. I am surprised at how bereft I am feeling. I miss seeing the familiar clerks. I miss meeting the new clerks. I miss seeing the cast of characters that Saturday afternoons bring to the little Stop-and Rob.

Unless the weather is really really bad or some other disaster befalls, tomorrow I will be back to my Saturday routine – Walmart, Library, Recycling, Lotterying. And I am sooooo looking forward to all those humdrum everyday chores. A big hole in my life will be filled.

I know, I know – how pathetic does that sound? Running errands has become a source of joy?!

But, I assure you, my life is not pathetic. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy how I do things. I enjoy when I do things. Even running errands.

As I say, it will fill a hole in my life. But only one hole. Bigger holes have formed in my life.

I have had to say good by to seeing two good friends. And I am bereft about that loss also. Thank God neither friend has passed away. But circumstances are such that they have passed from my everyday life. It has only been a week or two since I have seen one of them, and less than a week since the other left, but I miss them already.

Seeing them, sharing time with them was a regular, accustomed part of my life. I knew when I would see them. I knew what we would do. I stored up stories and jokes to share with them. And now they won’t be where I will be. They will not do what I do. They will not hear my stories. And I am left with a giant hole in my life.

As I admit I am a bit high maintenance, they each may be glad of the space. But I am not. I want my friends to still be with me.

Loss is a part of life. Wow! Nothing like stating the obvious! But it is still loss and we still grieve. We can relieve that grief by keeping on keeping routines and the same way of doing things, or by looking for new paths, new ways of doing things.

I will be doing both. There is nothing I can do about my friends leaving, but I can look for new friends. And hey! I get to tell the stories all over again!

And I can keep some things the same. Tomorrow there will be a trip to PLC. Tomorrow will be filled with regular routine things

Things change. My friends are gone.

Things stay the same. I run errands on the weekend.

Life goes on.